Finding myself

It has been years since I have known who I really am. I guess that happens to a lot of wives and mothers. I have become less and less of Kristin, and more and more of "Mom" or "Mrs. Carpenter" over the years.

I have no desperate need to define myself at the moment. I am in a happy marriage with four beautiful sons. My husband is not leaving me for another woman, nor are my children anywhere near leaving the nest. But when asked what my hobbies are, I am at a loss.

I USED to enjoy Speech and Debate and Acting...but that was back in high school. My husband and I have been together since my senior year in high school. And my interests melded into what he was interested in. And once I was over the "honeymoon phase," I developed some other interests. But once children came, they too, were set aside.

What ARE my interests? What ARE my hobbies? I can't even claim involvement in my Church activites. I used to be a lector, a Eucharistic Minister, a Bible School teacher, a CCD teacher and involved in Church plays. But now...I am a mom. Someone seems to always be sick and I even miss Mass. I couldn't even IMAGINE trying to be a lector at this time. My husband works rotating shifts. Could you imagine me up there at the lectern, while my three yeart old climbs under several rows of pews and my eight and nine year old and punching each other because "Maaah, he wasn't looking at the altar, so I HAD to punch him!" or my 6 year old whining just because he happens to be the Blue Ribbon Whining Champ in the tri-county area?? I'd be ousted! Father would no longer consider it a sin to miss Mass, but actually give me a ten year pardon from attending Mass, with no sin ever being committed.

Hmmm. . . interests? I'm not really into cloth diapering anymore, now that my three year old has been potty trained for over a year. I used to be into the "vegetarian thing," until I learned that eating meat was a lot easier to balance nutrition for a family of six that having to worry about getting all of the essential amino acids in everyone's diet. Unfortuantly, my eldest son still refuses to touch pork products. I guess I was able to take the whole "beef is bad" out of his head, but not pork. You never know, with all of the world events surrounding the Middle East, he may just be preparing for a life of Judiasm or Mulslim life. I just can't fathom a Polish Catholic who would rather have beans and rice at Easter over a nice Polish cooked ham or Kapusta. You know, Grandma is rolling over in her grave right about now!

I don't think that blogging is the answer, though. Spending hours hovered over my keyboard and not getting paid for it makes me a geek, not an unthusiast or avid hobbist.

We (me and the kids) are going to try ice skating lessons. Maybe that will spark something inside of me that will remind me of ME. Not holding my breath, though.

I'll let you know. . .